Black Flag’s Website Is The Saddest Thing Ever

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You know what we could’ve done without forever? Black Flag asking us to follow them on Instagram. But when you go to their website …wait. That sentence sounded weird. Black Flag has a website? Let’s allow for a minute for that little mindfuck to sink in. Ok. So anyway, when you go to their website, it asks you to follow them on Instagram and Facebook and Youtube and Twitter. Nah, we’ll probably take a pass on all that on account of seeing Greg Ginn’s old, baked ass through a Valencia filter or whatever crushes our souls.  

Then they offer you a free download of their new song, “Down in the Dirt,” which, by the way, fucking sucks a grown man’s ass. We’d actually rather listen to Rollins recite his scary “Family Man” shit than hear it again. 

But then comes the best part! Check out this little swing they take at FLAG…

***note: not to be confused with the ‘fake’ Flag band currently covering the songs of BLACK FLAG in an embarrassingly weak “mailing it in” fashion***

Wow. Not that we’re huge fans of FLAG but it’s pretty blatantly obvious that FLAG makes this reunited Black Flag look like a commercial for Jazzy Scooters.

What else is on the site? How about the above photo of the band where Gregory Moore is barefoot and wearing leather pants and a jacket that looks like it was taken from the Beetlejuice display at Planet Hollywood? 

Amazingly, we’ve heard from some people who defend this disaster, saying something to the effect of, “Derrrr, some people didn’t get the chance to see them so don’t spoil it for us derrrrr [gets own hand stuck in jar].” Yeah, you didn’t get to see them. You didn’t get to do a lot of things that happened before your time. That’s why it’s called the past. You missed it. MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Do you call up the NFL and say, “Hey, Super Bowl III happened before I was born. Re-enact it for me!”?

This Black Flag reunion(s) shit is getting out of hand. Let’s please settle this the same way our grade school teachers used to: We will turn off the lights and when we turn them back on, whoever’s responsible will have cut the shit and we’ll forget it ever happened. No questions asked.

Anyway, you can visit their website at ShittingOnTheYouthsOfThouandsOfPunks.com

Notes

  1. cecilly reblogged this from jadedpunk and added:
    My thoughts exactly, except saying “I’m starting to re-evaluate whether or not Black Flag was any good in the first...
  2. mrbromden reblogged this from jadedpunk
  3. jxdilla reblogged this from jadedpunk
  4. mondeparfait reblogged this from mattmanic and added:
    Preach.
  5. hangindane reblogged this from jonathandiener
  6. lickeyjim reblogged this from jadedpunk
  7. dwaininsane reblogged this from jadedpunk and added:
    haha oh god this is great
  8. amonksverything reblogged this from jadedpunk
  9. toolosttolosehope reblogged this from jadedpunk
  10. mattmanic reblogged this from jadedpunk
  11. provee reblogged this from jadedpunk
  12. kaldenbach666 said: Yep. Had a look. You were right. Sigh.
  13. redbegone reblogged this from queen-wasp
  14. snarkandpiss reblogged this from jadedpunk
  15. iamjohnfuckinglocke reblogged this from jadedpunk
  16. franzik reblogged this from jonathandiener and added:
    O.o
  17. itookabeating reblogged this from jadedpunk

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