15 Trends That Need To Die in 2013

Hey, remember 2012? What a crazy year, huh? Lots of cool stuff happened in the world of music like that new Propagandhi album and the Beatles playing on the Ed Sullivan Show[citation needed]. But lots of not cool stuff happened too. Below are a few awful trends that need to die right now before they follow us into 2013 like a clingy ex: 

Punk parody shirts

imageWe’ve officially hit our quota on these. We get it. Milo is Heisenberg. The Crimson Ghost is Justin Bieber. The Black Flag bars are photos of John Stamos or whatever. Pretty sure you can just wear a regular ol’ Misfits shirt and be done with it. It won’t be as “ironic,” but you know…people won’t want to punch you in the junk as much.

Read More

Green Day: A Year In Review

image


What happened to Green Day? They were once a likeable pop punk trio from Berkeley who happened to enjoy some major mainstream success. But over the last decade, the band has made a very public point of taking their good name and running it through a shitfactory of commercialism and over-indulgence, making just about every mistake an aging group of high-priced punks can make: They released concept albums. They recorded rock operas. They turned their albums into Broadway musicals. They made a Rock Band video game. They lent their songs to every fucking Disney movie, sports highlight reel, Vince Vaughn comedy, and Rhapsody commercial that needed a catchy guitar hook. They redefined their “look,” dressing like a cross between Avril Lavigne and hired goons in a Joel Schumacher Batman movie. And they committed the worst injustice of them all: They stole riffs from Dillinger Four. YOU DON’T STEAL RIFFS FROM DILLINGER FOUR.

But in 2012, Green Day elevated things to Andy Kaufman-levels of absurdity, making us question whether or not it was actually some ingenious joke at our expense. There was so much absurdity, in fact, that it’s hard to believe it all happened in one year. Let’s dissect it all chronologically, shall we?

Read More

JadedPunk.com’s Half-Assed, Incomplete Playlist of Songs That We’re Pretty Sure Came Out in 2012 But Are Too Lazy To Doublecheck

We know a lot of people are putting out their Best of 2012 lists this week but ours is different because unlike all those other lists, ours is the best one. Actually, it’s not really a list. There’s no particular order to it and we probably forgot a lot of stuff. It’s just a few songs that came out this year by people we like and of course, a Japandroids song, as required by law by the Music Bloggers Association of America.

Exclusive Early Look At Pitchfork’s Best of 2012 List

image
Every year, the tastemakers at the popular music website, Pitchfork, grace the Internet with their much-anticipated Top 50 Albums Of The Year list. This year, we were lucky enough to get an exclusive early look at their list for 2012:

  1. "A Very Kreayshawn Christmas"
  2. SIRI responding to existential questions
  3. NYC Police Scanner - August 21, 2012, 10:53 p.m. - 11:48 p.m.
  4. Neil Young’s autobiography’s book proposal
  5. "Animal Collective Reads The New Yorker in Pig Latin” (Remixed by Steve Aoki)
  6. M.I.A.’s DVD commentary of The Wire, season 2
  7. The creaking pipes in a Pitchfork writer’s studio apartment
  8. "Forrest Gump: Original Movie Soundtrack" reissue
  9. A five-year-old’s school play about the four food groups
  10. Joy Division - ironic shirt (Japanese import)
  11. Phil Collins’ remastered colonoscopy results
  12. Dudes Who “Went to School” At Rhode Island School of Design  - Laughing Blowfish 7”
  13. Cat Power - “Farts on a Piano”
  14. Lou Reed & Limp Bizkit - “Hip Hop Banana”
  15. Crazy guy with a spoon - complete discography
  16. R. Kelly - “Goodnight Moon” (audiobook)
  17. Diplo’s “Selected Voicemails” (Asian Chicks Edition)
  18. A hammer
  19. "Hip Hop for White People: Volume 3"
  20. Busker on the Nassau Ave G stop (Queens Plaza bound side)
  21. Photoshopped nudes of Lana Del Ray
  22. Half a cigarette found on the floor of LCD Soundsystem’s last show
  23. A metal album
  24. Lena Dunham’s cupcake farts
  25. "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2: Official Movie Soundtrack"
  26. An 8” x 10” photo of Jeff Magnum
  27. Beck ordering pizza through the Bane voice changer app
  28. The Bruno Mars episode of SNL 
  29. Valencia (Instagram filter)
  30. DJ Hurricane Sandy - Remix
  31. Stephen Malkmus’ laundry bill
  32. "The History of Netflix" (VHS)
  33. Skrillex’s fax transmissions album
  34.        
  35. Bruce Springsteen - “A Concert to Benefit White People” Live DVD
  36. Wes Anderson messing around with a thumb piano at Pier 1
  37. The Occupy Wall Street Drum Circle Band
  38. Big Boi - grocery list
  39. Pitchfork’s Various Nautical-Themed Artists Playlist featuring Best Coast, Beach House, Wavves, Frank Ocean
  40. The scene in “Blue Valentine” where Ryan Gosling plays a ukelele
  41. Grizzly Bear
  42. A grizzly bear
  43. Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein making shadowpuppets that look like Sonic Youth for 30 minutes
  44. Pitchfork.com - “Best of 2009” list
  45. The Weeknd, MGMT, Dntel - “Vwls Are Cmplt Bllsht”
  46. Bone Iver - Bon Iver’s “Blood Bank EP” as reinterpreted by canines
  47. Pitchfork.com - “Best of 2017” list
  48. PJ Harvey - sex tape
  49. M83 - Like, the album with all the lasers on it and stuff and it sounds like an album full of laser music, that one.
  50. One Direction - “Take Me Home” (cassette)

Honorable mentions:

  • Boat shoes
  • "How To Listen To (And Review Positively!) Black Metal: A Beginner’s Guide" (audiobook)
  • "Mom-bahton Massive: Moombahton Lullabies for Infants"