As we made pretty clear, we think that new Black Flag song is a real snoozefest. But not everyone is as much of a cynical asshole. So we did some poking around to see what some semi-“notable” people think about. Except for Mikey Erg (above), the reviews were not real positive…
Yesterday, we discovered our new favorite person, lead singer of Falling In Reverse, Ronnie Radke, who we’ve dubbed Rappin’ Ronnie (after the Simpsons bit/real thing that existed.) But that glorious 4 minute video only raised more questions than it answered. We wanted to know more about this character so we did some investigating…
Kyle Kinane, the funniest dude in punk rock (or the most punk rock dude in comedy, depending on how you look at it) filmed a pilot last summer called Kyle Kinane’s Going Nowhere. The pilot is great. You can watch it below. Kyle travels the country, talking to “sexperts,” trying on S&M outfits, and hanging with wizards.
As we mentioned, the Met Gala went with a punk theme for this year which resulted in celebrities hilariously pretending to have a clue what punk is. But the evening wasn’t just for celebrities. There was also a punk exhibit of some sort, featuring a recreation of the CBGB bathroom (above).
Gothamist has a post up about it, calling it “scarily accurate.” Uh, sorry, but as we have had many disgusting encounters in this historic shitter, there are a few things wrong with it…
Last night, the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York hosted the 2013 Met Gala. This year’s theme was “Punk: From Chaos To Couture.” For many celebrities, this was the first time they had used the word “punk” in a sentence that wasn’t “Have my assistant get me Daft Punk tickets.” It was also an excuse for them to spend $10,000 to spike their hair up and play punk dress up for a night. When interviewed, they all sounded like total shitheads talking out of their asses. Here’s what some of them had to say in these actual quotes from the red carpet…
If you have an Instagram account and don’t follow Chuck Ragan, you are blowing it big time. If you don’t have an Instagram account, get one and follow Chuck Ragan immediately. It’s an amazing peek into the daily life of the manliest man in punk. Every single photo looks like something taken from the Boy Scout Handbook. Let’s take a look at what keeps ol’ Chuck so busy…
Like most people, we love making fun of emo. Because well, emo is funny. So we collected the cheesiest, wussiest, sappiest emo lyrics of all time and put them in one place so we could laugh at them.
How does a lyric make the list? Well, it should be totally cringeworthy. Basically, every time you hear it, you should want to puke your guts out over how cheesy it is. Usually, that consists of some failed attempts at expressions of love. Godawful metaphors also earn points. References to things like hearts, tears, and sadness are also a plus. Basically, anything that sounds like it was written in a college Introductory-Level Creative Writing Class. Some of these are by great musicians. Others are by talentless hacks. Some are by bands that fall into the “emo” genre. Some are just particularly “emo” lyrics.
For help, we teamed up with Tom from WashedUpEmo.com as well as some of our emo-savvy friends, and you, the good people of the Internet, to compile a list of the cheesiest emo lyrics of all time. In no way is this a definitive list. There are enough break ups and lame attempts at similes in the world to hold us over for the rest of eternity. So with that said, feel free to leave any you think we missed in the comments.
The Douchebags of Coachella, Part 1
Weekend 1 of Coachella came and went this weekend. In case you’re not familiar, Coachella is an annual music festival where college idiots go to show off their brightass American Apparel clothes and take MDMA until they’ve maxed out their parents’ credit cards. Also, playing in the background somewhere are a thousand flash-in-the-pan hipster shitrock bands (and also Descendents for some reason). So in Part 1 of our infinity part series, we present The Douche-Bros of Coachella.
(Note: We could’ve very easily also done an Idiot Hippie Chicks on Molly gallery but opted not to.)
Hollywood greenlit all kinds of punk-themed movies this year that look like absolute dogshit. It kind of makes us wish we’d finished writing that script for our movie, Henry And The Hendersons. It’s basically just Harry And The Hendersons but John Lithgow finds Henry Rollins in the woods and his family tries to domesticate him. “Get out of here! Can’t you see we don’t want you anymore? Why can’t you go back to D.C. where you came from? Leave us alone! [smacks Henry in the face] Go!”
There are two movies in the works that look especially terrible: CBGB, the biopic about CBGBs, and Punk’s Dead, the sequel to SLC Punk. So which one will make us all want to cry in a cold shower with our clothes on more? Click ‘Read More’ and let’s take a look…
This week, your little sister’s favorite band, My Chemical Romance, announced that they were breaking up. It was news to us that they were still around, but apparently they’ve been together for the last 12 years, which is 4 times longer than Minor Threat was around. And when you think of it like that, it’s FUCKING DEPRESSING.
Anyway, a group of MCR fanboys/girls put together this online petition for the band to do a farewell tour. And while all those eyeliner sales would be a boost for the economy, we’re gonna have to put our foot down on this one. If we have to deal with a MCR tour the same year as a Fall Out Boy reunion and a new Blink-182 album, we might just drink a whole bottle of Manic Panic until we are dead.
So sign our counter petition to make sure this band stays dead until the end of time. If we get enough signatures, we will walk down to Hot Topic and hand deliver it to them. But probably not. We are lazy.
For a better tomorrow…
Hey, did you know the almighty Buddyhead is back in business? We eagerly await them getting back to epically tearing apart godawful indie rock records. Here’s a piece we wrote for them last week as our contribution to their triumphant return.
It’s Wednesday! Which means it’s time to play another round of everyone’s favorite game: Pete Wentz Or A Teenage Girl?
Once again, the rules are simple: We show you a tweet and you guess whether it was tweeted by 33-year-old millionaire bassist of Fall Out Boy, Pete Wentz, OR a random teenage girl. Here’s tonight’s tweet…
Ok, whose sappy subtweet was this? Pete Wentz? Or a teenage girl? Click Read More for the answer.
Today, we are proud to introduce our new fun game: Pete Wentz Or A Teenage Girl?
The rules are simple. We show you a tweet and you have to guess whether it was tweeted by 33-year-old Fall Out Boy bassist, Pete Wentz, OR a random teenage girl.
First up:
Ok, who tweeted their excitement about a new Blink-182 album? Was it Pete Wentz? Or some teenage girl? Click ‘Read More’ for the answer…
It’s been almost two weeks since Fall Out Boy announced they would be getting back together and for whatever the fuck reason, we are still hearing about it. But in the grand scheme of music news, this should’ve been filed at the very top of the who-gives-a-fuck pile. Here’s why.
1. Three Years Isn’t A Hiatus
Fall Out Boy announced they were going on hiatus in November 2009. That’s barely over three years ago. Three years isn’t a hiatus. There are currently active bands better than Fall Out Boy who haven’t put out material in longer than that. Dillinger Four hasn’t released new material since 2008. Or how about this: My Bloody Valentine put out an album this year which was their first in 22 years. Can you comprehend how long 22 years is, Fall Out Boy fans? It’s longer than Fall Out Boy’s manager wants you to believe Pete Wentz has been alive. Pete is actually 33 fucking years old and still tweets shit like this:
when girls aren’t listening to you they say things like “aw” when you’re done talking. guys just look at their phones. we need our “aw” word
— Pete Wentz(@petewentz) July 6, 2012
