Is Emo Making a Revival? We Discuss.

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If you listen to music right now, you know emo revival is hot! hot! hot! Everyone from The Pitchfork to NPR is hopping on this hot new trend. But where did the emos come from? Some say emos have always been around always. Others say emo died long ago. We wanted to get to the very bottom of the emo mystery so we asked a random guy in a vintage t-shirt hanging out in front a Goodwill on Long Island to get his fresh take! Emo!

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Buzzfeed’s 43 Pop Punk Things About Pop Punk That Are In A Pop Punk List (Pop Punk)

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Popular listicle website, Buzzfeed, has recently taken a shine to covering pop punk and MAN, sign them up for a Pulitzer because their coverage has been top notch.

They definitely have a firm grasp on the genre and present it in a high-minded, intellectually stimulating way. First was their list of 36 Pop Punk Albums You Need To Hear Before You Fucking Die, which included upwards of two actual pop punk albums. And then they dropped their 36 Facts About Pop Punk That Will Make You Feel Old, which took liberties with the words “facts,” “pop punk,” and “old” only to follow it up with their 32 Ways To Tell If You Grew Up In The Golden Era Of Pop Punk, a tremendous service to the music community.

Well today, amazingly, we were able to get an advance peek at their forthcoming article, Buzzfeed’s 43 Pop Punk Things About Pop Punk That Are In A Pop Punk List (Pop Punk) which we’ve published below. Enjoy! Pop punk!

1. This is what Pete Wentz looks like today.

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2. And THIS is what he looked like two weeks ago! WOW!

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3. You remember playing music on an iPod!

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4.  Remember this album? It just turned FIVE months old. Feel OLD yet?

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Sometimes Girls Hate Female Musicians (And That’s OK)

If this blog reads like a bunch of dudes perpetually sausagefesting about music no one cares about, guess what. It is. So we asked our very female vagina-having pal, Serah, who you may know better as the famous Twitter celebrity, Pony Starwars, to weigh in on the ladies of rock…

I’m not a big fan of Exene Cervenka. There, I said it. I find her vocals (especially post-X) bland and uninspired. Plus, ditching Kevin Seconds on tour in 2011 and driving back to LA, leaving him stranded in Tennessee (and on Twitter begging for a place to crash) coupled with the outdoor show I attended once where she called out a guy in the middle of a song for shooting video (and not even in badass way, it just sounded like an old lady having a temper tantrum) admittedly left a bad taste in my mouth.

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In Defense of Fat Wreck Chords

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Last week, I wrote a semi-popular article poking some fun at Epitaph Records and the string of awful mallcore bands they’ve been sullying their good name with over the last few years. I try to avoid reading the comments on things like that on account of they make my eyeballs want to vomit. But the top one caught my eye, mainly because it was nearly as long as the article but even less interesting.

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Happy One Year Anniversary To This Fucking Site

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Since we just got our domain renewal notice in the ol’ inbox, we guess that means this shitty music blog has been up for a year today, huh? Now seems like a good time to do one of those video montages they run when someone famous dies and they do a retrospective of their lives.

Well, we haven’t accomplished much, so this should be short. It’ll probably be quicker than the one they air when the guy who wrote ‘Who Let the Dogs Out’ dies. That’ll probly go something like this: “One man once asked a simple question: Who let the dogs out? Who? Who indeed. And then he probly banged a whole bunch of groupies, did a whole lot of nothing for the rest of his life, and died on the toilet today, eating a sandwich. He never found out who let those dogs out. But maybe, in the afterlife, he will.” Well, we haven’t even banged any groupies, just pissed a bunch of nerds off, so this’ll be quick.

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Worst Band Of The Week: These Hearts

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We spend a lot of time covering bands that have been consistently awful for years. But there are plenty of fresh new shitty bands that we know nothing about but look hilariously bad. In our new weekly segment, “Worst Band of the Week,” we take a closer look at some of these bands and barf out our impressions.

Our first band is a bunch of dudes called These Hearts, who are on Victory Records. (Side note to the band: Your label is gonna fuck you over at some point, if they haven’t done so already.) These Hearts are from Fargo, ND, where Steve Buscemi once famously got thrown into a woodchipper and then nothing else notable happened ever again. These Hearts sound just the way they look: Popcore bullshit where it sounds like you’re listening to Justin Bieber one second and the worst hardcore band you’ve ever heard the next.

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36 Pop Punk Albums You Need To Hear Or Just Go Fucking Die

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Yesterday, our favorite source of sloth photos, Buzzfeed, posted a list of 36 Pop Punk Albums You Need To Hear Before You F——ing Die,’ which is a great idea except that they forgot to include any pop punk albums. Most of their picks were just early 2000s-era crapcore Warped Tour bands like All American Rejects and Simple Plan and Paramore. Even the good albums on it, like Op Ivy’s Energyshouldn’t have qualified as pop punk.

We’ve noticed a trend of people co-opting pop punk to mean whatever the shit they want it to mean. And here’s the thing: we get that punk is supposed to be all-inclusive and it’s open to interpretation. But if we can’t set up at least some broad musical boundaries, the genre is meaningless and everything is pop punk and we can include Dr. Dre’s The Chronic.

So here are 36 pop punk albums you should hear or just go fucking die. It’s not a definitive list. Just our side of it. And while you can argue the picks (and you should!), hopefully, we’ve come slightly closer to some semblance of actual pop punk. That way, when archaeologists study us milleniums from now, they can say, “Oh, so this is what people wasted their time on in 2013.”

Also, these are just in alphabetical because we all had a 4-hour debate about whether or not Bouncing Souls and Strung Out constituted pop punk (the council determined no), so the thought of ranking them made our heads explode.

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The Most Hilariously Bad Lyrics From Falling In Reverse’s ‘Fashionably Late’

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Last week, we crowned Falling In Reverse’s Fashionably Late the worst album we’ve ever heard. But really, we can’t stress enough how bad it is. One of the most glaringly horrific things about it (and there are many!) are the lyrics of frontman, Ronnie Radke. Here are a few of the dumbest, grossest, most laughably bad lyrics on the album. And just as a reminder, EPITAPH FUCKING RECORDS put this out…

White boy on the beat rockin’ Gucci sneaks

All I do is win, Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen references will never go out of style. Especially in 2013. They’re timeless just like Borat impressions. Stopping now would just be too hard. That’s what she said! Very niiiiice! Gangnam Style!

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8 Things You Should Be Doing This Summer

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Woah, today is the first day of summer, huh? Time to start breaking into summer mode. First off, that means no more wearing these stupid things. [throws shirt out window] Ahhhh soooo much better. Anyway here’s some stuff you should be doing over the summer weeks.

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Pete Wentz Or A Teenage Girl?

It’s Friday which means it’s the time we’ve arbitrarily picked to play everyone’s favorite game: Pete Wentz Or A Teenage Girl?

The rules are simple. We show you a tweet and you guess whether it was tweeted by 33-year-old adult person and Fall Out Boy frontman, Pete Wentz OR some random teenage girl we found on the Internet. Ready to play? *cue theme music*…

Hmm. This is a tough one. Who was tweeting about Drake being their feelings spirit animal, whatever the fuck that is? Pete Wentz? A random teenager? Amanda Bynes perhaps?

Click Read More for the answer.

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