Let’s Pick A Winner Of This Goddamn Lawrence Arms Contest Already

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You may remember last month we promised to send a copy of the new Lawrence Arms record and one of our dumb Black Flag shirts to someone who photoshopped a photo of Brendan Kelly. Well, here are the entries, which we shall now hand over to Brendan to pick a winner. 

Entries after the jump…

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Win a Copy of the New Lawrence Arms Record and a Shirt

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Above is our handsome pal Brendan Kelly (who you may know from The Lawrence Arms, The Falcon, or the Chicago Police Department’s arrest log for public intoxication) wearing one of our dumb shirts. He has a new Lawrence Arms album out this week called Metropole which you may have heard about if you’ve been anywhere near the internet over the last month.

Want to win a dumb shirt and a dumb album? All you have to do is take the above image and photoshop Brendan into doing/wearing something that makes us laugh. Maybe he is stroking off a giant camel dong. Maybe he is dressed as one of the members of the Casualties. Maybe he is riding a rollercoaster into a giant vagina. Or maybe all three. The possibilities are endless.

Brendan will pick the winner. We’ll send you a shirt in your size (we currently have S-XL) and a copy of Metropole on vinyl (but only if you live within the continental US).

To help you out, we’ve photoshopped the background out. Download the PSD here. Get shoppin’! Contest ends next week. Submit them to: media@jadedpunk.com OR tweet your masterpiece with the hashtag #beexphotoshop.

(Please note: You are not getting the actual shirt Brendan is wearing. You will be getting a fresh one that does not smell like him. Sorry, ladies.)

The Lawrence Arms - Cut It Up

Song of the Day

That new Daft Punk album is out today and it GODDAMN FUCKING STINKS. Which wouldn’t be worth mentioning except that it has been the most hyped album since Jesus Christ put out his shitty synthpop record. It was on the cover of Rolling Stone, NME, and Good Housekeeping (probably). It sounds like a bunch of little kids dicking around with a Casio keyboard. Too much time designing helmets, not enough time writing music that people actually wanna listen to.

So, we are taking the initiative to start hyping an album coming out this year that at least stands a chance of being good. Even if it’s just Brendan farting into a tuba (which it might be!), the new Lawrence Arms will still straight up crush this Daft Punk horseshit. LET’S ALL START HYPING IT OUT OF OUR ASSES UNTIL WE SOUND LIKE RABID MORONS WITH NO DISCERNABLE TASTE IN MUSIC.

Here’s some classing Larry Arms to tickle your musical erogenous zones.

Our buddy, Rebecca R, took these awesome photos of our show at the Knitting Factory last week. These dudes know how to acoustically rock/tell jokes about weiners.

Our Show Was Not A Major Drunken Catastrophe!

Thanks to everyone who came to our show at the Knitting Factory last night. We packed the house until 1AM on a Monday night and that ain’t bad.

Brendan Kelly covered the Misfits. Dave Hause covered Joe Strummer. And Jenny Owen Youngs covered “Ring of Fire” with our surprise guest, Brian Fallon. It was just like watching Johnny and June but with more talk of dildos.

And thanks especially to Kyle Kinane, who not only had a room full of drunk punks at full attention, but also slayed everyone with his jokes about weiners and porn and stuff.

If you took any videos, send them our way!

Get To Know The Jerks Playing Our Brooklyn Show

As we mentioned earlier this week, we’re putting on our first show in Brooklyn, NY on November 12. Should be interesting to see what these folks can pull off with just a guitar or in some cases, even less. Here’s a quick preview of the guys and gals who will be playing:

Brendan Kelly (The Lawrence Arms)

Dave Hause (The Loved Ones/Paint It Black)

Jenny Owen Youngs

Kyle Kinane

JadedPunk.com Presents: Brendan Kelly, Dave Hause, Jenny Owen Youngs, and Kyle Kinane at The Knitting Factory, NYC

Lots of people know Brendan Kelly, Dave Hause, Jenny Owen Youngs, and Kyle Kinane as semi-entertaining Internet personalities. But did you know that they also play music and do comedy and stuff? Well, that’s what they told us anyway. And we hope they were being serious because we booked them all to play our first JadedPunk.com show on Monday, November 12 in Brooklyn, NY. Tickets have just gone on sale here.

Leave your spike bracelets at home, break out the flannel, and come party with a bunch of old punks! 

Treasure Fleet - Nitsa

Stream New Song by Treasure Fleet (members of Smoking Popes, The Lawrence Arms, The Arrivals)

Admittedly, we have not been following Treasure Fleet closely enough. Or maybe we have and we’ve been tripping too hard to notice because this is some serious hippie shit right here. Hard to believe that members of The Lawrence Arms and Smoking Popes could produce this 70’s pysch-rock sound. 

Check out this interview with the singer (also from The Arrivals) where he talks about how he named this song “Nitsa” after his daughter. …Wait a minute. Psychedelic 70’s rock? Songs about daughters with hippie names? We are one away sequined lobster costume away from being in Of Montreal territory. Get into it before they start doing Outback commercials.

posted by Dan Ozzi

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Republican Punk, Michale Graves, Arrested For Pot Possession

Former frontman of the Misfits during the who-gives-a-shit years, Michale Graves, was arrested this week for possession of 6 grams of marijuana, causing him to miss a show in El Paso, TX with his band, The Whatever The Fuck He’s Doing These Days Ensemble.

The irony of it all seems as good a reason as any to look back at his 2004 appearance on The Daily Show where he talks about the difficulties of being a Republican punk/walking contradiction.

Bonus cameo by The Lawrence Arms’ Brendan Kelly for some reason. 

posted by Dan Ozzi